On a particularly hungover evening, while riding home from a Hawks game with Artful, Eddie, and Scuba Steve, the following conversation transpired:
AH: Ugh. I think my liver has simply given up.
Liver: You think so, asshole??? Maybe it's because you routinely abuse me with your Colorado football games and your RockBand plus white wine drinking extravaganzas.
AH: Um, is that my liver actually telling me it hates me??
Liver: Yes bitch. I hate you. Why don't you poison me again and see what happens?
AH: Okay but isn't it sort of your JOB to help me out here? Isn't this pretty much your function?
Liver: Is that all I am to you? An organ that should just do its job?
AH: Well, yes.
Liver: That's it. Enjoy your next hangover whoreface. I will make sure there is no college football on and that you are trapped with a televangelist and his grinning idiot wife. And no cheeseburgers. Or else.
Kidneys: Yes, beetch, you are screwed. All that cerveza makes us angrrry.
AH: Wait, what? Now you guys are joining in? And why do you sound like you are from Mexico??
Kidneys: That iz none of your concern.
Liver: Stop mocking them and have another martini, why don't you. See what happens. I dare you.
I'm more than a little worried.
* inspired by Grace and a conversation with Eddie and the Artful Blogger
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3 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! My abs and my sides are now in pain form laughing so much at that.
Your liver does sound pretty awesome - kind of like you sound when sitting in front of the idiot row at Hawks games.
Beware the kidneyz. . .
Because Eddie is such a genius of unparalleled quality, he pointed me to this blog post within mere seconds of its publication.
And it is hilarious. Thank you. :)
So very funny...and to all of those who doubt that this conversation actually took place, allow me to verify that said conversation 1) actually happened and 2) freaked out Eddie and myself. I mean, the speaking organs were scary, but the kidneyz accent was what really sealed it.
Poor AH :-)
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