Thoughts on Lettuce . . .

I know there are some amazing inventors out there - there are wizards of innovation dreaming up touch screen iPods and Slingboxes and cars that detect heartbeats and, well, lots of other things. So can someone please come up with a way for me to buy lettuce and not have it turn into slimy green goop before I can even make 3 decent salads? For real. While you're at it, can you also make raspberries last longer? Much love.