Apparently, ahem, this topic needs going over. So here is my take:
Appropriate phrases to use to stop "seeing" someone before the "dating" begins:
* I like hanging out with you, but I think we are better off as friends.
* We have so many mutual friends, I think dating might be weird.
* You spend too much time with your dog and it weirds me out.
* We haven't quite gotten there yet, but it is patently obvious that I am not going to be all that great in bed, so rather than embarass myself, we should quit while you are ahead.
* You are way too hot for me - I would be insecure dating you.
* Um, sorry to tell you this, but the person you were seeing died/moved to Yemen (said by mutual friend, obvs)
Inappropriate methods of ending the "seeing" before the "dating":
* Simply not speaking to the person even though you have the same group of friends and will clearly be seeing each other in the future. Seriously folks - this is what you do in 6th grade (Oh man, Lucy totally burned Jimmy! She didn't sit by him on the bus today - SNAP!) not as an adult who has graduated from college and holds down a job.
* Being mean to the other person's dog (really, this is never an acceptable way of solving anything)
If you are unsure of the appropriateness of your method, select a new method from the first section. They are all reasonably friendly and do not involve meanness to cute puppies.
P.S. To my dear friends, absolutely none of whom are single (and yes, Daisy, having a boy who you regularly make out with and also hang out with means you are not single), enough with telling me how fun being single is. Because none of you are. If it was so amazing, you would do it, too. Also, no more setting me up with immature, emotionally unavailable men. Because really, haven't I dealt with enough of those???
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8 comments:
On behalf of 'men', I apologize to you. But a message to those men who make you feel this way - feel shame. Utter shame, you moronic muppets. May your 'manhood' become stricken with leprosy, and your remaining 7 brain cells be destroyed to prevent them from further sullying the gene pool.
I want to thoroughly agree with your methods on appropriate ways to stop seeing someone. Why is this so difficult? Not to put you down, but it doesn't even take a lot of maturity to use the methods you've listed-- two of them involve the word "weird" and "dude" could be easily inserted, too. What is wrong with people? It's like having sex... if you're going to date, be prepared to handle unwanted situations like an adult!
I was single for 4+ years, so my advice counts for something. And you know what? I spent 4 glorious years wearing sweat pants and comfy undies to bed.
Maybe that's my problem - I never gave up wearing comfy undies to bed . . .
Ahem, but sometimes you take your clothes off in your sleep. Seriously now, it should count for something.
In fact, I took my socks off in my sleep last night (my feet were cold when I went to bed, so shush). Fine, it counts for *something* but the bottom line is that if those 4.5 years had been all that "glorious" you wouldn't be hanging around BYSMOW.
If I knew you in real life, I would totally date you. But I think you're looking for a dude, dude.
BISMOW is now referred to in public as BISMOW. Hilarious.
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