So imagine my glee (and Eddie's as well, sick bastard) at the top headline of the day over at blessed CNN.com:
"Pitbull Kills Cancer Boy's Miniature Horse"
And the ensuing chat:
A-Hottie: "Pit Bull Kills Cancer Boy's Miniature Horse" * what a headline * so well written* Cancer Boy???
Eddie: Is that real???
A-Hottie: yep * cnn.com * where else?
Eddie: i'm crying laughing at that * I just told everyone at the coffee shop
(ok, what are we, an episode from Friends?? Continue . . .)
A-Hottie: heehee * I just like that he is Cancer Boy * like the worst superhero EVER
Eddie: HAHAHA * Cancer Boy * OMG * STOP
A-Hottie: What is his special power? Shoots chemo through his fingertips?
Eddie: Yes. While riding his miniature horse.
A-Hottie: Hahaha, oh man. Straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
ADDENDUM. ENSUING HILARITY OVER GCHAT:
A-Hottie: I am laughing so hard * I am picturing this little bald superhero on a mini horse and absolutely crying
Eddie: hhahahahaha OMG it hurts
A-Hottie: i know. with his hospital gown as a cape. oh dear.
Eddie: I think his miniature horse should have the pit-bull gouge still there. like a zombie horse.
A-Hottie: his head lolling a bit to one side.
Eddie: and it should be too small for Cancer Boy too, so his legs scrape along the floor while he's riding him. Cancer Boy has outgrown Minaiature Zombie Horse, but how can he leave him, they've been through so much
A-Hottie: this should really be Tim Burton's next project. and of course the kid needs parents who are complete dolts.
Eddie: and are clueless to the secret identity of Cancer Boy. because he wears glasses. great fucking disguise. maybe he can cure cancer
A-Hottie: ooh like a real hero!
Eddie: but he can't cure his own
A-Hottie: but his pony is magic! and so long as he rides it, he is ok!
Eddie: and by the end of the movie/trilogy, his mini-horse cures him.
A-Hottie: And he becomes a real horse again!
Eddie: ooh ooh! can it have sneakers, too???
A-Hottie: YES
18 comments:
Do you want me to pee my pants in the office woman? Knock it off.
a tad, TAD cruel but it probably means that i am too since i had one of those- spit out the coffee in my mouth- type of moment. oh how the mighty have fallen. my mom watches cnn because it reminds her of her soaps.
That picture is about the most fantastic thing I have ever seen. And that really was laugh out loud funny. I've had my seat in hell reserved for a long time...
My parents have boycotted CNN in favor of....brace yourself now...Fox News.
Daisy, that is just stupid.
theyre basically equivalent now. dont you remember when wolf blitzer made that obama/osama slip? dude CANNOT be that dumb.
Eddie is British and lives far away, so that is why you have never met him. But you have met me (insert ominous music here), and I am awesome.
I am thirsty, too.
I don't live too far away. OK, so I'm not down the street, but I'm certainly within road-trip distance. That was "road-trip" Hottie, like the one you are planning and will soon give me some dates :)
You need to drink something. I believe that's how this "thirst" problem is solved.
Well, duh you're awesome. And my last comment was written whilst drunk.
Those are my favorite kinds of comments. Man I am still hungover.
Wow, I can't believe what I just read. I have firsthand experience with cancer, and it is certainly not FUNNY. And neither is the killing of animals. And the fact that you think both are really funny shows that you really have no heart at all. You seem to me to be a spoiled rich girl who likes to act compassionate about certain issues to make herself feel good. I hope to God you never have to deal with a kid with cancer. But let's just say if you got raped and beaten with baseball bats in some dark alley, this world wouldn't lose much.
I honestly only published this comment to prove a point. Because I am a "spoiled rich girl" I *deserve* to be raped. And beaten. But let's focus on the rape. This person knows nothing about me, but because I dare to be a woman, I dare to be sexually assaulted. It is patently obvious that I DO NOT THINK cancer is funny. I think the headline was AWFUL by tagging a cancer victim "Cancer Boy". That was the point, that CNN was insensitive by calling the boy involved "Cancer Boy" - I NEVER thought of the boy as such. But apparently I deserve a man's assault on my body. You know what Jeff? FUCK YOU. Rape is NEVER OK, just as cancer jokes are not - except that RAPE is a choice, not a function of nature. A RAPIST chooses to harm a woman, to force himself into her life, FOREVER. So you, Jeff, have lost my respect. I always respected people dealing with life, with cancer. But I REFUSE to accept RAPE as a viable punishment for a woman you disagree with. You, Jeff, are a piece of shit.
Jeff is more than just a piece of shit. And it is times like this that I am reminded that cancer exists to eliminate living things that nature does not want to see carry on to other generations.
I too have had many experiences with cancer and death. At this point, I assume most of us have. I've never personally had cancer, but it has taken some people I cared about greatly, has affected the people I love (who thankfully survived), and will undoubtedly continue to do so in the future.
So I could be classified as about as anti-cancer as they come. And yet I managed to find the humor in this post. Because it was clearly directed at CNN's gafe. But it would appear that not everyone is capable of reading at above a third grade level...
So Jeff, let me thank you for your efforts. I had become jaded over time with all these advances in science in technology. Thank you for reminding me to consider whether modern medicine really does just work a little too well...
Ditto Duke
Whether you like it or not, you showed what kind of a person you truly are with your blog post about "cancer boy". A decent person would not have reacted like that, and definitely not posted it. It offended me greatly. I have no problem with spoiled brats who claim to be enlightened and need to drink to nausea even AFTER college to have a good time. But I decided to offend you like you offended me in your post. What kind of girl laughs at a story about a pit bull killing an animal, even discounting the cancer aspect? Anyway, what I said was, I won't feel BAD if something terrible happens to you like getting raped and beaten. Maybe I'll laugh about it with my friends and post the convo in a blog. YOU are a piece of shit.
Apparently Jeff, the advocate of rape as punishment for women he finds "offensive," never learned how to read critically. This is all the time I am spending on you - if you are truly this fucking dumb and sadistic, you aren't worth my consideration.
And, perhaps you noticed, this blog is dedicated to my fucking dog, a dog that is loved more than most HUMANS, so no, I don't find dead animals funny. But since you cannot read between the lines, I doubt you ever noticed the little description box. Seriously - cannot believe people like you exist.
If Jeff knew anything about anything he would know that shortly after CNN posted the headline "Pit Bull Kills Cancer Boy's Miniature Horse" to "Pit Bull Kills Childs Make-A-Wish Pet" which was much more appropriate.
As someone who has watched immediate family members battle cancer AND worked for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, I'm thinking that other people, like AH and Eddie found the headline offensive and bizarre, and complained and thus it was changed.
Dear Jeff-
Just out of curiosity, if you find this girls blog offensive, how about you DON'T READ IT?
Fuckstain.
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