So, recently Eddie was proofreading a paper for me (reminder to self - the edit is due Monday) and he pointed out some errors in punctuation. Namely, my comma use. I put commas wherever my brain pauses in a sentence, and apparently that is not necessarily the proper use of commas. But it works for me. What does this have to do with "squicky"? Well, I also make up words that describe my feelings - sometimes they are combinations of words that make sense when squished together, and sometimes they are sort of words that convey my feelings just in a noise (like "janky" - you just know something that is "janky" is gross as hell, right?). So, squicky. It's kinda squeamish, kinda icky, and sort of just uncomfortable - all things that are absolutely conveyed in that word. Yes.
Dating makes me squicky on so many different levels. First, dates are weird. You have to be interesting but not try too hard and be interested but not try too hard at that either because if you are trying to be interested you probably are actually bored and that isn't a good sign. Second, dating is rarely based on honesty. Well, I suppose that plays in with number one but number one is really more about the weirdness. Life would be so much easier if dates were about truthfulness. But can you imagine someone just saying "I use my good looks to lure people in to feel better about myself but ultimately I am unable to maintain a healthy relationship"??? I mean, maybe one person in a million would be that honest. And if they really were so honest, they would probably actually be a great catch, or something. Third, it is pretty mentally exhausting to have to learn all of these new things about new people. I mean, I can't even keep track of all of my siblings and their kids and birthdays and what not, so how on earth am I supposed to remember someone else's childhood pet's name? And add that to the being interested/interesting and trying to sort out what is actually fact about the person, and my brain just gets overtaxed. I have a lot of other things going on up there - like, how many times did I feed Murphy today, and are the dishes in the dishwasher clean, and what freaking day is it because holiday weekends with extra football really mess me up? Do you see how squicky this all makes me??? I am getting worked up just writing about it.
So for now, I am just going to love my dog, stress about random things (like having a date for my best friend's wedding next JUNE - that woke me up in a total panic attack the other morning), not know where to place commas, ramble A LOT, and ultimately hold out for Ryan Adams (in all seriousness). Phew. Having that settled makes me a lot less squicky.
P.S. Nice work today, Buffaloes!!! That's what we call winning ugly.
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Ramblings from a law school graduate in Chicago - and occasionally, from Murphy.
6 comments:
OK, so first, I would like to make it clear that your writing rocks, and proof-reading it is a joy. And generally you use excellent commas. I admit to being slightly taken aback by seeing two commas right next to each other giving the effect of,, a very large brain pause. The occasional times they were in the wrong place, it simply made me smile, as reading it aloud sounded just like you would be speaking it, brain pauses and all.
Second, 'squicky' is an awesome word, and should be included in the next edition of Webster's.
Third, I've had an entire 'weekend' (assuming my incorrect body clock) of dealing with crap that would have been made so much easier if man involved would have just been honest, and I would not be dealing with a miserable, self-destructive IGSOH. Guys, if you're reading, honesty works better than you think it will - trust me on this one.
Fourth - great concluding paragraph, you really shouldn't have been so worked up about it.
And finally, my new #2 team, the Buffaloes, are 1-0 under the support of Eddie. And if you're going to win a televised game, win good, or win real damn ugly, and they defined the latter.
Um, so I guess I'll stop rambling myself now and,,,, go to bed.
So. I really enjoy the word "runkly" that I once invented. Runkly = sort of messed up and off, you know? And? The commas? I totally do that. Apparently just becuase I took a brain pause to sip my coffee and twiddle my hair does NOT mean I should insert a comma. Who knew?
When dating I suggest following the Daisy approach: Deny, deny, deny.
First, comma's are awesome and period's are overrated
Second, your Buffaloes took steroids at halftime. Which I am totally fine with because it was against Nebraska
Third, and most importantly, I want to leave you with the wise words uttered by Jeremy Grey on the complicated issue known as dating:
"I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair."
I think "runkly" works well for the look people acquire when doing the walk of shame. They feel squicky when strangers stare at them for looking all runkly. And Namby, you summarized my feelings brilliantly - or rather, Jeremy Grey did.
And I don't care how the Buffs did it, they won. Our season is complete - we beat CSU, NU, and a top 5 team (OU). We are officially awesome. Fuck 'em up, fuck 'em up, GO CU!!!
So what if a non-ugly, not psycho guy at your law school asked you out? You wouldn't go?
Hmm, it kind of depends. Is this hypothetical guy someone I have to run into everyday, thus turning a bad date into a semester of awkwardness? And does hypothetical guy like dogs and weird organic products and Ryan Adams? And is he very nice and not a jerk who will be mean to myself or my friends? 'Cause I guess I could consider it . . . maybe. If he was scruffy.
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