Yeah, I love Maury. Love. And I have been in sort of a spring time funk lately, so I cheered myself up with Maury today. And there was this one guy who got all mad that his girlfriend made him fly 3 hours to tell him that their kid may be someone else's and the audience cheered. And I kind of wanted to tell the audience that had the guy NOT flown in they would all be out of entertainment for the day and would have to go back to their moms' basements and figure out something else to do. I just started 3 sentences in a row with "and" - so there's that. Anyway, who comes to Maury expecting something nice to happen? I mean, if someone asks you to appear on Oprah, then you can reasonably expect that even if something nice doesn't happen, at least you probably won't be taking a paternity test. But come ON people, you know that if you get a call to be on Maury you are either going to have some baby drama, an out of control teenager, or some weird makeover that often involves transexuals and trying to pinpoint the biological females (seriously). aMOMymous always gets annoyed that I watch this crap - but really, it is pure entertainment gold. Oh, I also really like watching infomercials, especially when they involve ridiculous kitchen gadgets. I feel like I am getting off topic . . .
Ok, so the WSotD is a blast from the past. I had a serious Dave Matthews addiction throughout high school and college. And I still get hankerings to belt out DMB tunes and I occasionally watch the random DVDs and movies I have of him (I never said I lived an exciting life, ok???). Anyway, most people have an aversion to DMB because they either think he sold out, or they heard too many frat boys trying to get laid to the strains of 'Satellite,' or because they are just sucky people. But I still love him and this version of this song is one of my all time favorites and it is spring and people are frisky and here it is (mostly, some of the lyrics are a tad muffled, but you get the general gist):
Who got you off when you got yours?
Who was the first to spill your soul?
Who got you off? Well, I'm the one
Dreamed of doing it day and night
Oh sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock and sweet you roll
Oh I swear over and over
It's you like a wave into me
When you come crash into me baby
Please come crash into me
Come crash into me
In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream
Who miss you all? what runs your way?
Who runs up side you and begs everyday?
Who's watchin' you through your window?
Night Comes
Who's celebratin' with the moon?
That you're like a wave come again
Come and crash into me, yeah baby
And I come into you
In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream
Oh now it's here I build my soul
I swear, friend, don't you know
I'm bare boned and crazy for you
Oh when you come crash into me yeah
And you come into me
And you come into me
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show the world to me
In a boy's dream yeah
In this boy's dream
I'll be your Dixie chicken
You be my Tennessee lamb
And we will walk together
Down in Dixie land
Crash into me
Crash into me
Crash into me
Crash into me (you build up real big here)
Oh I wanna play with you
Monday, March 24, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Your Wednesday Song of the Day . . .
. . . just-returned-from-spring-break-and-am-still-kind-of-brain-dead-edition:
Don't Comb The Leprechaun from Ryan Adams on Vimeo.
Don't Comb The Leprechaun from Ryan Adams on Vimeo.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Celebrate Choice!
Today is National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers. It's the perfect time to send a note of thanks to the men and women who make safe, legal abortion a reality in this country. They go to work day in and day out - often in bullet-proof vests, through throngs of mis-informed protesters - because they care deeply about freedom of choice and women's access to quality, respectful healthcare. So take one moment out of your day to follow one of the links below and tell them "Thanks! We appreciate you!"
http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/appreciation
http://www.nafresources.org/petition.html
And in the same vein . . . for those of you who haven't heard about McCain's dismal history on matters of choice, I will post some information below. This presidential election is crucial for maintaining not only choice, but ensuring access to quality healthcare for women in this country. Take another moment to educate yourself about where not only the national candidates stand on healthcare issues, but your state officials, as well. And if you have one moment left after that, send those who support healthcare a quick thank you e-mail - they need to hear our voices of support as loudly as those who shout against equality and healthcare.
*McCain supports overturning Roe v. Wade, and has pledged to nominate justices who will do so, "given half a chance"
* he supports the Global Gag Rule - a funding provision that bars foreign family planning organizations from receiving U.S. funds if the group in any way advises clients on abortion as an option or advocates for legal abortion - even when using their own funds.
* he routinely votes "no" on measures that would PREVENT abortions - such as increasing access to and funding for birth control, and the quality comprehensive sex education programs that have been shown effective at preventing pregnancy and STIs in teens.
* when asked if contraceptive use can help prevent transmission of HIV, he said, "You've stumped me." (seriously? how did you get to be a candidate for ANYTHING with an answer like that???)
more info on McCain: http://www.sptimes.com/2008/03/09/Opinion/Why_McCain_should_wor.shtml
http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/appreciation
http://www.nafresources.org/petition.html
And in the same vein . . . for those of you who haven't heard about McCain's dismal history on matters of choice, I will post some information below. This presidential election is crucial for maintaining not only choice, but ensuring access to quality healthcare for women in this country. Take another moment to educate yourself about where not only the national candidates stand on healthcare issues, but your state officials, as well. And if you have one moment left after that, send those who support healthcare a quick thank you e-mail - they need to hear our voices of support as loudly as those who shout against equality and healthcare.
*McCain supports overturning Roe v. Wade, and has pledged to nominate justices who will do so, "given half a chance"
* he supports the Global Gag Rule - a funding provision that bars foreign family planning organizations from receiving U.S. funds if the group in any way advises clients on abortion as an option or advocates for legal abortion - even when using their own funds.
* he routinely votes "no" on measures that would PREVENT abortions - such as increasing access to and funding for birth control, and the quality comprehensive sex education programs that have been shown effective at preventing pregnancy and STIs in teens.
* when asked if contraceptive use can help prevent transmission of HIV, he said, "You've stumped me." (seriously? how did you get to be a candidate for ANYTHING with an answer like that???)
more info on McCain: http://www.sptimes.com/2008/03/09/Opinion/Why_McCain_should_wor.shtml
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Why we still need Feminism . . . or, asshole commenters of the day.
So I usually have a policy of not publishing nasty comments because they don't add much to the general quality of my life. And I rarely get nasty comments - probably because most of the people who read this are my friends who don't say nasty things about me. But two recent comments have been irking me lately, so I thought I would just post them right up here.
The first, from someone who calls himself "Dude":
"You're so right that legal abortion and feminism has [sic] been great for our country. Think about what would have happened if Roe v. Wade hadn't occurred - illegitimate births would be 10% instead of 40%, divorce rate would be nowhere close to 50%, crime would be much lower (you know, that whole respecting life thing) and intelligent women would be having babies instead of us importing uneducated Mexicans to pay for our retirement. You're right, what was the "religious right" thinking?"
Ok, so let's take this apart section by section. First, I wonder where Dude got these statistics about illegitimate births. I don't like numbers that aren't backed up by non-partisan studies. So I am going to go ahead and toss that little factoid out the window. Likewise with the divorce rate comment. How does Dude know that legalized abortion has made the divorce rate higher? Or is that supposed to be feminism that created the 50% rate, I'm not sure. And if it is feminism that has pushed the divorce rate to 50%, what does that say about marriages prior to women pushing for equality?
And on to crime . . . again this speculation is not backed up by anything other than a glib comment about respecting life. Please point me to the statistics that show the steady increase in crime to which you are referring; statistics that control for socioeconomic factors, education, and violent upbringing in abusive homes, and that point only to how abortion increases crime. My guess is you cannot find such numbers. In fact my cursory research on crime suggests the opposite.
I respect life - enough to volunteer to give women education, the tools to improve and control their sexuality, to trust them to make the choices that are best for them and their families. I wonder if Dude volunteers. I wonder if his respect for life extends to fetuses outside of the womb - actually I don't. Because Dude makes it quite clear that he doesn't respect the "Mexicans" that we selfish, non-child bearing women import to do our dirty work for us. I'll bet Dude respects white male life above all else, but that's just an observation of mine, not a fact (see how I differentiate between opinion and fact there?).
And about those intelligent women not having babies. . . Let me make it crystal clear to you, Dude; I AM NOT JUST A UTERUS. Neither is any other woman on the planet, "intelligent" or not. I am a woman with aspirations, goals, ideals, friends, family - in short, a woman with a life who may or may not choose to ever have children. Not having them would not take away any of the qualities that comprise my humanity. I'll bet that's a tough one to wrap your brain around - the idea that women are people, too.
And that brings us back to feminism. Anyone who decries feminism either doesn't understand the concept, or doesn't like women. Feminism is the quest for equality in society for women - it is NOT about making women "better than" men. It is not about hating men, or getting rid of them altogether. It is the recognition that there are problems with equality between the genders in our society, and the desire to right those wrongs. What wrongs, you ask? Here are a few:
* Women with the same degrees and qualifications as male counterparts earn less in the workplace - a discrepancy that holds up even when controlling for things like maternity leave. This difference appears within one year of similarly situated men and women entering the workforce.
* Women pay as much as 3 times more than men, out of pocket, for healthcare - even for those services that are necessary for basic health.
* Between 1/4 and 1/3 of women will be sexually assaulted or sexually abused in her lifetime. Only about 1/4 of those attacks will be by strangers. More than half of those women will not report the abuse because they feel they will not be believed, and because the criminal justice system is set up to prosecute "stranger rapes" - ignoring the fact that most women know their attackers. In fact, the "better" a woman knows her attacker, the less likely he is to ever be punished for raping her. Every year, over a million women are forcibly raped by their current or former male partner.
* The number of women who have been murdered by their intimate partners is greater than the number of soldiers killed in the Vietnam War - approximately 1,400 per year.
And all of these are numbers you can actually confirm. Sadly, they are merely a few of the problems facing women in this country. And the picture is even worse when you factor in women from other countries. So, Dude, I am finished with you. Because I am confident in myself, I believe in the necessity of feminism, and such comments only push me to be more vocal about the challenges women face and to do my small part to work for solutions.
Oh - and if you were wondering about the other asshole commenter of the day, "anonymous" said I was an ugly bitch. Those who can't argue with logic turn to name-calling, I suppose.
The first, from someone who calls himself "Dude":
"You're so right that legal abortion and feminism has [sic] been great for our country. Think about what would have happened if Roe v. Wade hadn't occurred - illegitimate births would be 10% instead of 40%, divorce rate would be nowhere close to 50%, crime would be much lower (you know, that whole respecting life thing) and intelligent women would be having babies instead of us importing uneducated Mexicans to pay for our retirement. You're right, what was the "religious right" thinking?"
Ok, so let's take this apart section by section. First, I wonder where Dude got these statistics about illegitimate births. I don't like numbers that aren't backed up by non-partisan studies. So I am going to go ahead and toss that little factoid out the window. Likewise with the divorce rate comment. How does Dude know that legalized abortion has made the divorce rate higher? Or is that supposed to be feminism that created the 50% rate, I'm not sure. And if it is feminism that has pushed the divorce rate to 50%, what does that say about marriages prior to women pushing for equality?
And on to crime . . . again this speculation is not backed up by anything other than a glib comment about respecting life. Please point me to the statistics that show the steady increase in crime to which you are referring; statistics that control for socioeconomic factors, education, and violent upbringing in abusive homes, and that point only to how abortion increases crime. My guess is you cannot find such numbers. In fact my cursory research on crime suggests the opposite.
I respect life - enough to volunteer to give women education, the tools to improve and control their sexuality, to trust them to make the choices that are best for them and their families. I wonder if Dude volunteers. I wonder if his respect for life extends to fetuses outside of the womb - actually I don't. Because Dude makes it quite clear that he doesn't respect the "Mexicans" that we selfish, non-child bearing women import to do our dirty work for us. I'll bet Dude respects white male life above all else, but that's just an observation of mine, not a fact (see how I differentiate between opinion and fact there?).
And about those intelligent women not having babies. . . Let me make it crystal clear to you, Dude; I AM NOT JUST A UTERUS. Neither is any other woman on the planet, "intelligent" or not. I am a woman with aspirations, goals, ideals, friends, family - in short, a woman with a life who may or may not choose to ever have children. Not having them would not take away any of the qualities that comprise my humanity. I'll bet that's a tough one to wrap your brain around - the idea that women are people, too.
And that brings us back to feminism. Anyone who decries feminism either doesn't understand the concept, or doesn't like women. Feminism is the quest for equality in society for women - it is NOT about making women "better than" men. It is not about hating men, or getting rid of them altogether. It is the recognition that there are problems with equality between the genders in our society, and the desire to right those wrongs. What wrongs, you ask? Here are a few:
* Women with the same degrees and qualifications as male counterparts earn less in the workplace - a discrepancy that holds up even when controlling for things like maternity leave. This difference appears within one year of similarly situated men and women entering the workforce.
* Women pay as much as 3 times more than men, out of pocket, for healthcare - even for those services that are necessary for basic health.
* Between 1/4 and 1/3 of women will be sexually assaulted or sexually abused in her lifetime. Only about 1/4 of those attacks will be by strangers. More than half of those women will not report the abuse because they feel they will not be believed, and because the criminal justice system is set up to prosecute "stranger rapes" - ignoring the fact that most women know their attackers. In fact, the "better" a woman knows her attacker, the less likely he is to ever be punished for raping her. Every year, over a million women are forcibly raped by their current or former male partner.
* The number of women who have been murdered by their intimate partners is greater than the number of soldiers killed in the Vietnam War - approximately 1,400 per year.
And all of these are numbers you can actually confirm. Sadly, they are merely a few of the problems facing women in this country. And the picture is even worse when you factor in women from other countries. So, Dude, I am finished with you. Because I am confident in myself, I believe in the necessity of feminism, and such comments only push me to be more vocal about the challenges women face and to do my small part to work for solutions.
Oh - and if you were wondering about the other asshole commenter of the day, "anonymous" said I was an ugly bitch. Those who can't argue with logic turn to name-calling, I suppose.
Monday, March 3, 2008
I am not from Michigan.
On the heels of someone telling me that my hair reminded her of Emily Valentine:
I decided that I needed a re-style. So I went in to my super fabulous hair-person (seriously, she rocks) and we discussed our mutual girl-crushes on Agyness Deyn:
So now my hair is somewhere in the middle. Neat, no? And so long as I am pasting photos all over the place . . .
You knew it was coming.
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