Thievery.

I am blatantly stealing Daisy's "few truths and a lie" theme because I am somewhat bored and all of my post topic ideas are currently rather half-baked. So here goes, pick which one of the following IS NOT an accurate Anonymous Hottie factoid:

* After being grounded for life (only allowed to attend school events), and due to my secret (and unrealized) ambition to be a cheerleader, I auditioned for the role of my high school mascot. I got the role and danced around in a ridiculous mascot outfit at sporting events.

* My first "real" kiss happened when I was 15. I thought it was so gross that I broke up with my boyfriend and swore off kissing for 6 months.

* I was a member of 4-H as a child. My project (because you have to have a project) was my dog. I forced him to go to dog shows and do tricks and he looked utterly miserable at each event - which made aMOMymous laugh A LOT.

* I am an incredible klutz - I have broken off my two front teeth and had plastic surgery/stitches on my face twice due to random injuries.

* I am allergic to melon, raw carrots, and mold. I consistently re-test this allergy with raw carrots and melon, only to make myself very itchy.

Um, so there you go. In the words of Eddie Izzard, "all of this is true - yes." Well, except for one thing. Have at it!!!

A Dedicated Wednesday Song of the Day

I was tagged by The Commodore in continuation of the meme . . . but since I already took that stroll down memory lane, I thought I would post a Wednesday Song of the Day for him, instead. Now, since Ryan Adams *swoon* happens to be a favorite of the both of us, you might be expecting him to pop up. But I am going to pull a fast one on you all and post this instead, just because I like it (um, but Ryan is still my fave and you should give that link a gander - it's just about the sexiest thing ever):

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved

aMOMymous

On the heels of discovering I never write about my family comes my first post about my mom, hereafter referred to as aMOMymous. aMOMymous is a very friendly lady. I am slowly evolving to pretty much look exactly like her (well, without her coloring) which I am fine with because she used to be a model and I think she has the best smile of just about anyone. So there's that. Oh, she loves Murphy and is horrible at telling stories (also just like me. seriously. awful at it.) and makes the best rum cake in the whole world (Daisy is constantly after the recipe, that and the "secret recipe cookie" recipe. Not.happening.). She likes to drink wine and jack & coke's and makes delicious popcorn for me whenever I am home. aMOMymous is also a very friendly designated driver and always shuttles me around when I go out with my former high school friends. She has an affinity for stupid decorations that involve barnyard animals but in a kooky way (who else has blown glass chickens in her kitchen? seriously?) and she is the only person who is allowed to buy me cow paraphanelia (I don't want to be that girl who everyone gives cow-themed gifts, but it is cute coming from her). In fact, she gives really weird presents in general and I always have to write a list out. Otherise I get things like pillows made out of my high school uniform skirt (this christmas) or weird Chinese costumes (last christmas). There are lots of other fun factoids about aMOMymous, but those will suffice for now.

Anyway, aMOMymous had a trip-and-fall accident this past weekend and ended up with 20 stitches across her forehead (that's another thing, we are both total klutzes) and she is feeling like a doofus, a sort of purple-y doofus - but is otherwise okay. I told her that she needs to tell people one of two stories:
1 - I went cliff diving and made a slight miscalculation of the currents.
2 - I was put in Tent City for the weekend and made it out alive (it's an AZ prison, sort of)

So send nice thoughts out to aMOMymous if you please, and go give your moms a call to tell them hello and other pleasant things. Moms are great. Yay moms.

Daisy 1 - Anonymous Hottie 0 (for now, anyway)

So I am conceding a point - which is rare, so take note. Anyone who reads this knows all about my love for random organic products - toothpaste, lotion, laundry detergent, Murphy's puppy chow, etc. So I convinced Daisy to get herself some aluminum-free deodorant - the kind that doesn't put icky chemicals into your pores. And smells like lavender! and lemongrass!

Welllllllll . . .

The aluminumy chemicals are there for a reason. Daisy complained that she smelled like a mixture of organic lemongrass and disgusting. Though I mocked her mercilessly and said she is probably just a smelly person, I think she actually may have been -SIGH- right about this one. 'Cause I smell like a mixture of aloe and sweaty aloe. So organic deodorant is off the table until they figure out how to make me smell like simply aloe. At least my breakfast yogurt came from happy, non-drugged cows???

Oh, and take note. According to Eddie, it is National Booooooo Week. I absolutely love this concept and will be participating well past this week. The first official boo? Goes to the guy who tried to "hurry" me through the crosswalk with his large car while it was about 16 degrees outside and I was walking my sweet pup. Not only did I give you the finger and bitch you the hell out, I am adding a booooooo to your punishment. And? You were ugly. So.There.

Yes it is late. . .

So it is 3:22 in the morning in Chicago. Why am I posting? To point out this ridiculousness.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080217/ap_on_re_af/bush_africa

Oh yes. Thanks for PEPFAR Bush. Thanks for subjecting women to husbands without condoms. Thanks for telling women they are worth less than men. Thanks for saying, "just get married in a Christian sense - even though that INCREASES a woman's risk for AIDS in Africa. Thanks for once again saying women in other countries aren't as important as Americans.

I hate you. Honestly, you pretend to care, then you put up financial roadblocks to actually being useful. Go fuck yourself. Usually I am more eloquent. But you are subjecting women to AIDS so that you can support gender norms. So you know what? I am done being polite. Blah.

The "V" in "V-Day" stands for "Vodka" - duh.

That pretty much sums up my feelings for V-Day, which is oh so close to VD-Day which makes me chuckle every time I think of it. I never said I had a sophisticated sense of humor, okay??? Oh, but Namby told me that I was not, under any circumstances, allowed to stay in bed all day drinking my martinis. Apparently doing so is "tragic." I asked him whether that was "Anna Karenina-tragic" or "Pauly Shore's career-tragic" and he said it was in fact "a baby seal caught in an oil spill-tragic." So, I suppose I have to venture outside and have my non-date with Daisy - woot!!!

And, I am oh so excited to get to participate in Grace's "post meme." Yeah, I have no idea what that means but I read hers and I basically understand the rules and she tagged me so here goes.
The rules:
Post about the meme and link back to the person who tagged you and go back to your archives and link to your five favorite posts. Link One: must be about family Link Two: must be about friends Link Three: must be about yourself Link Four: must be about something you love Link Five: can be anything you choose.

1. Family. Do I really ever write about family??? No. I just checked. I have mentioned my dad twice and other than that I haven't said a word. And neither of those mentions are all that memorable. So instead, relive the glory of my live-in family member, Larry.

2. Friends. Well, this is better. I have a few gripe-type posts about friends, but they don't really fit with the spirit of this little game. Um, apparently this actually isn't any easier - turns out I write about myself an awful lot. So I picked this example, because I pestered all of my friends to participate, and they did, and I appreciate it. Yes.

3. Myself. Well WOW this number has an option or two. But I think the drunk dance party best sums up she who is AH.

4. Something I love. Hmm. That's rather broad. Well, we just covered my love for drunk dance parties, which leaves room for this guy (I recommend clicking on the highlighted "cigarette" portion of the post) and this guy. Oh, and these guys (yeah, who has the 16th best recruiting class in the country? Oh we do? Fuck.Yeah.).

5. Whatever I want. Um isn't that pretty much the theme of my whole blog?? Anyway, I knew immediately which 2 posts I would pick for this. The shitstorm-starter and the one that cracks me up. Yes, I make myself laugh. If you don't, you must be rather dull.

Creating this little list has given me so many ideas for things I really need to start including. Yay. Oh, and Eddie? You're it!!!

Addendum to Today's Addendum

OK, so this is the lab that won the Westminster lab group:

And this is the immeasurably handsomer Murphy's Law:

Seriously. He should be famous. Look at that face!!!

Addendum to the WSotD

Dear Chicago,
Please stop snowing.
I'm going fucking crazy
with this weather.
You snowed all last week.
And it's still below freezing.
And Murphy is going apeshit in my little condo 'cause it's too cold to let him play outside.

* GUITAR SOLO (yes, totally ripped from 'Halloweenhead' because this is a bastardization of 2 of my favorite songs. and because I really am going a little loopy with this craptastic weather.) *

I think I'm falling out of love with you.

Yet Another Wednesday Song of the Day*

Dear Chicago,
You'll never guess.
You know the girl you said I'd meet someday?
Well, I've got something to confess.
She picked me up on Friday.
Asked me if she reminded me of you.
I just laughed and lit a cigarette,
Said "that's impossible to do."
My life's gotten simple since.
And it fluctuates so much.
Happy and sad and back again.
I'm not crying out too much.
Think about you all the time.
It's strange and hard to deal.
Think about you lying there.
And those blankets lie so still.
Nothing breathes here in the cold.
Nothing moves or even smiles.
I've been thinking some of suicide.
But there's bars out here for miles.
Sorry about the every kiss.
Every kiss you wasted bad
I think the thing you said was true, I'm going to die alone and sad.
The wind's feeling real these days.
Yeah, baby, it hurt's me some.
Never thought I'd feel so blue.
New York City, you're almost gone.
I think that I've fallen out of love, I think I've fallen out of love . . . with you

* Yeah it's Thursday. But I was really busy yesterday (read: took a nap and walked Murphy twice) so the Wednesday song of the day is here, now, and it is excellent. So shush. And there are pictures! Yay!

Life goals.

"Saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers."

Yeah??? Well I have allergies.

Seriously, I am so obsessed with the Duggar family. 17 freaking children? All with names starting with J's (oh yes, including "Jinger" - if they weren't so holy I would predict she would be a stripper, but as it is I think she might pop out 17 of her own). They live in a house they built by themselves on 20 acres of land - so that one day the kids can all build their own homes on the family property. Wowza. That's not that different from me, I suppose. I mean, if my dad built a guest house out by the pool, I am pretty sure I would move back to AZ and spend my days drinking margaritas and lounging in the sun. Um, but not with 16 siblings. Nope, just with the Murph (he likes swimming). Anyway, I have watched at least 3 documentaries about them - and not just once - over and over. I am mesmerized by this woman's uterine capabilities. If I ever meet these people, I might faint. I mean, not in the "swoon" fashion that will occur when I meet Ryan Adams, but in an "oh my God, they DO exist" fashion ala the X-mas commericals starring Santa and the M&Ms (don't act like you don't know what I am talking about). And you know what is nice? Thanks to this family I don't have to worry about my lack of child-bearing negatively impacting the population of the planet. Yay!

Oh, and, I have decided that I want to learn Spanish simply so that I can watch (um, and comprehend, because at the moment I just watch) the telenovelas. They look so damned good - they always have weird monsters and glittery outfits and women with big hair. I mean, what's not to love?? Exactly.