Democracy in Action

Well, not really. Because we are letting Eddie vote, and because the majority might not win, and because really, I just want some opinions because I am at a total and complete loss as to what to wear to my best friend's wedding festivities. Of course, the bridesmaid dress is set. And it fits, other than the shallow breathing I will be doing all night (I have a big ribcage, ok??). Behold, it is actually pretty cute:



Ok, so now for the other contenders. I need a dress for the rehearsal dinner and the morning-after brunch. And I need to look smoking hot, in a classy sort of way. So, help!

Worst.Movie.Ever.

Last weekend I went back to AZ to spend some quality time with my family. My mom was recovering from having her appendix removed, so I picked up a couple of movies that I thought she might enjoy. OK, one movie that was for her, and 'Batman Begins' for me (Christian Bale = YUM).
So aMOMymous and I settled in to watch '27 Dresses' - not expecting much other than a breezy romcom, just what we needed. About halfway through the movie, I could no longer contain myself and just started yelling at the screen. "Are you effing kidding me???" aMOMymous turned around and said, "Oh thank God - this is the worst movie I have ever seen." My sister chimed in and said, "yeah, I should have warned you that this sucks."
Now I have some pretty crappy movie taste. I own 'Like Mike' with Lil' Bow Wow, and 'Spirit, Stallion of the Cimmarron' and I can pretty much recite all of 'The Cutting Edge' - but this, this '27 Dresses' was simply too awful. I can't even touch on how horrid the acting was, and really, I wasn't expecting much, but at one point I wondered if the kid sister was on drugs because she kept twitching - I then realized it was her attempt at enthusiasm. But what really irked me more than anything else were the absolutely trite notions spewed forth about the "right" type of wedding and how important that ceremony is to all reasonable women.
Really?
The only character who questions the whole wedding industry and the commercialization of "love" is mocked and of course realizes that all he needed was the *perfect woman* - duh! See, this is why I think marriages fail. People are so in love with the idea of "love" and the perfect wedding that they forget all about actually having a relationship. You don't have to have a white dress and a diamond ring and an overpriced cake to be in love. And don't even get me STARTED on being "given away" - shudder.
I don't hate weddings. In fact two of my best friends are getting married this summer and I couldn't be happier for them - and part of the reason for that happiness is that I know they actually DO think about their relationships, and realize that the wedding is an important ceremony and recognition of the love that they work on every day. I just hate this movie for perpetuating this country's stupidest "norms" that are put into place to feed the giant wedding industry.
And? Who on earth would root for Heigl's character? No one is going to help you not be a doormat, sweetheart. So enough romcom's for me. I will gladly return to my animated flicks where characters actually have backbone and plan on breaking the rules rather than adhering to inanity.

And end rant - just warn me before I pick up another crap movie like this.

The Bobcut

For those of you who didn't already know, my hair has its own persona. And its name is Bob. Bob is generally unruly and uncooperative, feisty, and quite fun. We love Bob, but sometimes he needs some grooming. So today we wandered into a brand new salon because my stylist of the past 3 years up and moved to New York (I cried. And worried. Who would care for Bob???) So the color process went fine, basic bleach isn't all that tough - other than the fact that it burns my scalp and makes my eyes water. Then onto the new stylist dude.
He was a fun-looking guy so I was only slightly nervous when he told me what he was going to do and just started snipping. My theory of haircuts is pretty much, "eh, it grows back." Then, he paused, and said, "how do you feel about a swoopy tail back here?" Um. What? Murphy has a tail. 4th grade boys whose parents let them go to school grubby have tails. I *do not* have a tail. "Um, I don't think I like tails, thank you," I said politely, tummy churning a bit. Snip snip, chop chop - "Did I mention I am the maid of honor in a very conservative and fancy Chicago wedding in exactly 8 days???" I sort of whimper. "Oh no worries, you will look pretty." Snip snip snip. "How do you feel about a fade around the ear? Or a chunk carved out around your eye?" "Um, apprehensive?" Snip snip. Wanting to bite nails. A fade? Like Vanilla Ice? "So yeah I just got back from India where I had odd jobs as a fisherman and a motorcycle repair person and aren't people weird? Peace and harmony, shit man, it all makes me laugh." Um, what? Was that a sentence? Oh poor Bob, how I worry for you. I am going to look like a chunky Vanilla Ice and I just don't think I can deal with that while studying for the bar . . .
And then, I turn, I get the hand mirror, and voila, I look so fucking awesome. Way to go weird hair guy! Bob is certainly very happy to have new stories, even if unintelligible ones.

AH Tries to Cook

Actually, I am a pretty darned good cook. When I plan out what I am making. Otherwise I tend to have a terrifically random assortment of food products in my cupboard, which should surprise no one who knows me. So tonight, I offer you my delicious recipe for "AH Surprise" because I just ate it and it was yummy. And notecarding is boring.

*any veggies you have on hand (I always have frozen broccoli or spinach. They work. And if you happen to have a fresh tomato, it is yummy in this.)
*some form of beans (I like organic spicy black beans)
*egg whites (OK, so I am a freak and I don't buy whole eggs. You could use them, but I don't. About 1/3 of a cup of egg whites is plenty.)
* optional: cheese. I rarely have cheese on hand and this works with or without it.
Ready? Put frozen veggies in pan until not frozen. Add beans. After they heat up, add egg whites. Stir around until cooked. Top with chunky salsa. And here is where I will lose some people, but you can also put lowfat cottage cheese on top - it has the same effect of sour cream but more lean protein and is freaking delicious. If you can't get on board with cottage cheese then I suggest plain nonfat yogurt (with or without a little ranch powder stirred in. It's what I use instead of mayonnaise in everything that calls for mayonnaise.)

And there you have it. It takes like 8 minutes and gives you lots of veggies, fiber, and protein and is super filling and tasty. Now back to Civ Pro. Yay.

Wednesday SotD . . . Music-y edition

It was really tough for me to choose a song for this WSotD as I have been in a super music-y mood lately. But this song has been on repeat and in my head so here we go:

I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
Like love's mementos usually do
And I look up to see who's different here
The latest me or the latest you

Course, you're the kind of guy who doesn't lie
He just doctors everything
Chooses some unassuming finger
And quietly moves his wedding ring
Who rewrites his autobiography
For any pretty girl who'll sing
But you can't fool the queen, baby
Cuz I married the king

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I kissed you on the street that night
On the far side of four
But I didn't like the taste
In my mouth or yours
And ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit
For once I had the balls to call it
Just call it
But a lesson must be lived
In order to be learned
And the clarity to see and stop this now
That is what I've earned

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
And heartache not so dire
Cuz I looked up to see integrity
Finally won over desire

And now back to not studying . . .

OK fine, I admit it . . .

. . . wearing yoga pants to class is basically just cheating and wearing pajama-like clothing that elicits an "oh she must work out after class" rather than an "oh she is fucking lazy."

And both are true.

(ooh and my prize for being Eddie's 10,000th visitor is freaking awesome! t-shirt with skull design made up of little funny people? fantastic!)

Hooked

Long time football fan, brand new hockey fan - thanks to Eddie and Haswoe. So it was tough for me to see the Pens go down tonight. But I am *so* excited to be a fan of a team that showed so much heart through the playoffs - and Game 5 was probably one of the top 3 sporting events I have ever watched. So thanks Eddie, Haswoe, and the kids whose names I finally remember. Can't wait to see you all next season.

Swicroromssia!!!

If you frequent my blog, you may have noticed that Eddie and I have decided to root for Swicroromssia throughout Euro 2008. Well, since we are clearly creative and excellent humans, we created a line of Swicroromssia apparel that the whole family can enjoy (minus childers, obvs. erm, I had a design idea and Eddie surprised me by actually putting it on the interwebs!)!!

Behold, Swicroromssia!

Order today and wear with pride!

Eddie and AH . . .

. . . scholars of worldly sporting events. Or something. We decided we needed to pick teams for Euro 2008. And our discussion regarding who to cheer on went something like this:
Eddie: Boo, no England, they didn't make it.
AH: Um, I thought you didn't *actually* like England?
Eddie: I like their football team, just not the country or people.
AH: Oh (sort of ponders that but moves on). Well, we certainly cannot cheer for Italy. Or France.
Eddie: Noooooo.
AH: And we have to cheer for Switzerland.
Eddie: We do? But they are boring. I need drugs and or alcohol to cheer for them.
AH: They are stoic, not boring. And I was born there.
Eddie: Fine. And, um, Croatia? We can't cheer 2 host countries.
AH: Sure, though I appreciate Austria for its sheer randomness. Then comes the tough category, Netherlands or Romania?
Eddie: Netherlands are evil cheating bastards.
AH: Yeah, and I don't know where it is. Like Bora Bora.
Eddie: (rolls eyes at American educational system) So Romania.
** Now ensues a long discussion over whether the Swedes or the Russians have better names for their children. Russians win based on "Sergei," "Igor," and "Vladimir" - and because saying things with a Russian accent is fun, especially whilst drinking vodka, which is basically their Gatorade. **

So there you have it. We are cheering for Swicroromssia, and most likely making t-shirts with magic marker. Wow, I will do anything to avoid bar review.