Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year!

So, here I am on vacation.  I am going to have NYE dinner at my favorite restaurant in the whole world (Daisy is in agony right now because it is also one of her favorite restaurants and being the sweetie I am I shall taunt her with stories of spinach dip! and ribs! and hand cut french fries! and champagne! and caramel dessert!).  Then I am off to a low-key evening with friends and bubbly.  All in all, a pretty great NYE - well, there are a few notable things missing (ahem, New Years kiss) but I am satisfied.

Anyway, instead of making vague resolutions about being a better person for the new year, I have set goals.  Goals that I will achieve and not drop by March.  Goals that I am already working on, in fact.  So here they are, in no particular order:
* maintain my weight loss from the very successful Eddie & AH Weight Loss Challenge!  We put ourselves on diets this holiday season, and though we haven't had our "official" weigh-in yet, we have both done very, very well and are almost down to our goal weights!  Now all I have to do is stay there . . .
* run my first marathon.  Possibly even 2!
* learn how to play the guitar.  It fits in well with my overall plan to meet and woo Ryan Adams.  Swoon.   
* play at least one sport (so far I am signed up for one definitely, yay!)
* pass the bar - yuck, yuck, and more yuck, but it has to be on the list.

So there they are.  I hope everyone has a fabulous NYE - Murphy and I will be back soon!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Vacation

Murphy and I are on vacation.  Someplace warm and sunny.  But without Bears games on television.  So it isn't "all" good.  But mostly . . .

Friday, December 14, 2007

Aaaaaahh.

That is a sigh of relief "aaaaah" not a panicky, stressed out "aaahhh".

Papers done: 3
Papers to go: 1

Procrastination is phenomenal.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Things that are AWESOME.

* Having 3 finals due this week. Being done with zero of the 3.

* Breaking a molar on a tiny piece of not-all-that-hard chocolate. Not having time to get the molar fixed due to aforementioned 3 finals.

* Having a hacking cough. Only way to relieve said cough is to take cold medicine which makes you woozy and unable to write coherently, thus distracting from the 3 finals, but not distracting from the broken tooth.

* Walking your dog and cleaning up his poop in the midst of all of these things.

I may have to rethink my definition of awesome . . .

Thursday, December 6, 2007

The Bippie

AH: I am such a hippie.
Eddie: You are not.
AH: I am so. I use organic clove-flavored toothpaste and eat organic veggies and cage-free eggs and meat from non-abused cows and . . .
Eddie: Okay, okay. But you don't want to *date* a hippie.
AH: Of course I do. They are scruffy and adorable and will put up with my weird organic creations and oddly flavored toothpaste and my excellent taste in jam bands.
Eddie: But hippies are smelly and have no motivation in life. And they have yucky hair.
AH: No, no. I am talking about *Boulder hippies*. Cute, scruffy, want to go climb a mountain with the puppy and then have a fair trade coffee and a sprouted-grain english muffin type of hippies.
Eddie: I see. So these are not *real* hippies.
AH: Of course they are. But they are from Boulder. Like me! I am generally well-kempt, have a future career in mind, like to go hiking (for one day only!!! camping is dirty), and have great clothes, shoes, and purses (um, he won't have purses).
** pause **
Eddie & AH simultaneously: Aha!!! A Bippie!!!

** dating applications currently being accepted from Chicago-area Bippies - um, must like dogs and not be emotionally unavailable freaks, as previously mentioned **

Your Second Wednesday Song of the Day**

I've been a long time gone now * Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow * By taking the long way
Taking the long way around * Taking the long way * Taking the long way around

I met the queen of whatever * Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers * Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to
No I, I could never follow * No I, I could never follow

It's been two long years now * Since the top of the world came crashing down * And I'm getting it back on the road now * But I'm taking the long way * Taking the long way around * I'm taking the long way * Taking the long way around* The long * The long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself * I opened my mouth and I heard myself * It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself * Guess I could have made it easier on myself
But I, I could never follow * No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else * Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down * If you ever want to find me I can still be found * Taking the long way * Taking the long way around * Taking the long way * Taking the long way around - Dixie Chicks

** What do you mean it isn't Wednesday??? Damned finals schedule has me all mixed up. Oh and yes, this song actually does remind me of me - those who know me well know that I never do things the exact way I am supposed to, but they love me for it. Erm , at least I think they do.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

A Haiku for Eddie

Met a cute greenie
Too bad he lives in L.A.
That is not so close

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Good v. Evil

Good things about today:
* waking up after a night of martinis and realizing you have pad thai in your fridge.

Bad things about today:
* Army v. Navy. Really??? This is my hangover football???

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Dear Super-Hot-Gym-Guy,

Well, clearly you are super hot. I mean, it's in the title. Anyway, you make my workouts much more enjoyable. You always "forget" a water bottle and are forced to stroll by the treadmills to get a drink. I am always on the treadmills. It works out well.
I like your cute little bandanna and your glasses that make your hotness almost approachable (almost). You are also a nice balance of muscle-y without being a meathead (well, I haven't actually spoken to you, but you seem non-meaty, um, in a good way).
Hopefully you read my blog and know all of the nice things I think about you - 'cause I am never going to approach you. Why not?
(1) gyms are for working out, not hitting on people - a rule I don't break;
(2) one reason I don't break this rule is because when I work out, I turn beet red and sweat profusely, rendering me completely unattractive;
(3) you are insanely hot and I am not sure I could ever speak a coherent sentence in your presence.

So, um, keep going to the gym when I am there because I tend to run many more miles in a much happier state. Oh, and, you kinda need a haircut, but you are still SHGG.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Squicky.

So, recently Eddie was proofreading a paper for me (reminder to self - the edit is due Monday) and he pointed out some errors in punctuation. Namely, my comma use. I put commas wherever my brain pauses in a sentence, and apparently that is not necessarily the proper use of commas. But it works for me. What does this have to do with "squicky"? Well, I also make up words that describe my feelings - sometimes they are combinations of words that make sense when squished together, and sometimes they are sort of words that convey my feelings just in a noise (like "janky" - you just know something that is "janky" is gross as hell, right?). So, squicky. It's kinda squeamish, kinda icky, and sort of just uncomfortable - all things that are absolutely conveyed in that word. Yes.

Dating makes me squicky on so many different levels. First, dates are weird. You have to be interesting but not try too hard and be interested but not try too hard at that either because if you are trying to be interested you probably are actually bored and that isn't a good sign. Second, dating is rarely based on honesty. Well, I suppose that plays in with number one but number one is really more about the weirdness. Life would be so much easier if dates were about truthfulness. But can you imagine someone just saying "I use my good looks to lure people in to feel better about myself but ultimately I am unable to maintain a healthy relationship"??? I mean, maybe one person in a million would be that honest. And if they really were so honest, they would probably actually be a great catch, or something. Third, it is pretty mentally exhausting to have to learn all of these new things about new people. I mean, I can't even keep track of all of my siblings and their kids and birthdays and what not, so how on earth am I supposed to remember someone else's childhood pet's name? And add that to the being interested/interesting and trying to sort out what is actually fact about the person, and my brain just gets overtaxed. I have a lot of other things going on up there - like, how many times did I feed Murphy today, and are the dishes in the dishwasher clean, and what freaking day is it because holiday weekends with extra football really mess me up? Do you see how squicky this all makes me??? I am getting worked up just writing about it.

So for now, I am just going to love my dog, stress about random things (like having a date for my best friend's wedding next JUNE - that woke me up in a total panic attack the other morning), not know where to place commas, ramble A LOT, and ultimately hold out for Ryan Adams (in all seriousness). Phew. Having that settled makes me a lot less squicky.

P.S. Nice work today, Buffaloes!!! That's what we call winning ugly.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough . . .

So clearly I like random country songs. Hence the title - but also because of this . . .*

Sometimes you love your friends. But you still just aren't very nice to them. And I don't always get it. But tonight was an example. Sometimes you tell your friends how much you love them. And that means something. But you still hurt them. And that's where it gets complicated. How do you care about someone, but still act in a manner that hurts them??? I guess that's the question of the human condition.
So my best friends, they apologized. They said they were sorry for making me cry. They knew they had upset me, and they didn't know what to do about it. And I was glad that they apologized - but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough because they shouldn't have hurt me in the first place. It shouldn't have been an issue. And it was cute to show up at my place and kidnap me for dinner and drinks - but it doesn't erase the way they made me feel.
But I am not perfect - so I do not expect perfection from my friends. I just expect more than hurt feelings. I have dealt with enough hurt feelings lately. Sometimes apologies are not enough. Sometimes you are expected to foresee consequences and not hurt people. That is when an apology starts to resemble an excuse. And that is when I don't want to listen to your apology. Because you knew better. Because we are friends. I can't forgive you right now. I won't say "it's okay" - because it is not.
That's all. You may never read this. But it isn't okay - our friendship will be "okay" again, but today it is not. What you have said is not enough. And I had to say that. Both to you and here. It isn't enough - "sorry" isn't enough today.

* yep, I am vague. I am upset at a set of friends. If you need details, I don't want to provide them. I just needed to get this off of my chest.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Diamonds are forever. And they suck.

Am I the only one who absolutely despises the holiday diamond commercials?? I can't be. Yet they keep making new ones. New stupid commercials with blubbering women and weirdly chiseled men getting all amorous over really ugly jewelry. (And this isn't a commentary on how diamonds aren't actually all that rare and they are a totally socially constructed "bauble of love" - even though that commentary would be accurate, that isn't my point at the moment). My point is, I don't care if he went to Jared or if every kiss begins with a "k" or if diamonds are forever and the only way to show true love and the only way to properly reward the mother of your children or WHATEVER. I would much rather see fewer diamond commercials and more beer commercials. Or, commercials starring scruffy men who sing love songs directed at me. Or commercials about freaking fertilizer. ENOUGH with the diamonds. You really want to show me you love me? Get me some bubbly, a nice wedge of triple creme brie, and some sort of delicious French dessert - then pop in a movie (preferably something with animation or really sappy acting or cheerleading/dance moves) and pig out with me. THAT is my holiday commercial pitch. Women all over the world would *swoon*. Trust me.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Your Wednesday Song of the Day*

Song 1: “She Thinks His Name Was John” - Reba McEntire

Ok, so if you haven’t heard this song, go listen to it immediately. It is hilarious and awful and you will love it. The premise is that this woman knows what happened to all of the men in her past (we are left to assume that she has had sex with these men, though Reba actually never says “sex” or “getting busy” or anything - she’s freaking Reba, it isn’t happening). This makes her a responsible, albeit still slutty, person. But then, there was this one, she had some wine, she had some sex, she left at dawn, and she thinks his name was John. Oh man, what a set up, right? So then what happens Reba? Oh, she is dying??? Of AIDS (well, we aren’t really sure. I mean, it could be syphilis, or perhaps cancer caused by HPV because her parents didn’t get her the Gardasil vaccine because they thought she would have lots of unprotected sex with that “safety net” - I guess the joke is on YOU mom and dad, she turned out to be a total whore anyway!!!)??? Oh how tragic! And all of this could have been prevented if she just knew his last name! (Disregard the fact that she knew where he lived and probably could have traced him that way - that is SO unromantic) So the life lesson learned here is that you will totally be safe from horrid diseases if you just take the time to learn the last name of the people you are randomly sleeping with. Actually, I kinda like the end result. Reba isn’t saying, “See, if only she married the dude she never would have gotten an STI (which, by the way, is bullshit)” - she is saying, “C’mon people, at least sneak a peek at the driver’s license in his wallet before you do the walk of shame!” So refreshing in the damning world of country music.

Song 2: “Stand Still, Look Pretty” - Wreckers - This is just here because I like it.
I want to paint my face and pretend that I am someone else
Sometimes I get so fed up I don't even wanna look at myself
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
And you might think its easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty
Sometimes I find myself shaking in the middle of the night
And then it hits me and I can't even believe this is my life
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I wish that everyone would go an shut their mouth
I'm not strong enough to deal with it

* Disclaimer: This may or may not repeat on other Wednesdays - today, it is actually “songs”. And since we have had some critical reading issues (ahem), let’s make it clear that I am not mocking people with debilitating or deadly diseases - I am talking about a freaking song. Finally, none of these songs are brought up to really make a difference in anyone’s life, I just like them, okay? So keep snotty commentary to yourself - it won’t get posted anyway.

Monday, November 5, 2007

On Moping.

Man, I am just all sorts of chatty today. Anyway, I am great at moping. I have it down to a science. Not that I am a mopey person per se, but I know how to get it done. And tonight was feeling like a mopey-ish night, so I got prepared. Did my workout at the gym (exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't kill their husbands! erm, not that I have a husband . . .), headed over to the grocery to buy a bottle (okay, fine, 2 bottles) of champagne, brie, and the makings of my killer banana bread to go with viewing the Hills (multiple times).

But then I got home. And the first thing I saw was the present Eddie sent me today. An air purifier because he knows I haven't been sleeping well. He knew I was never going to actually buy one for myself (because whenever he mentioned it I just sort of mumbled something about Ryan Adams) so he and HASWOE cooked up a plot to ship me one. I am all sorts of excited to use it.
Then I popped in the "Anonymous Hottie Mix" that Daisy made to remind me that I am awesome (it is mostly excellent artists such as Kelly Clarkson, Reba McEntire, Carrie Underwood, and Ashlee Simpson - great mopey girl music - and yes, we make each other mix cds because that is what friends DO). And it immediately made me bop around my kitchen.
Then I opened my (first) bottle of champagne, and it reminded me of my afternoon with my friend Suresh this weekend. He told me that one of his favorite things about me is that I "drink champagne like most people drink beer" - which is totally and completely accurate. I love champagne. So that put a smile on my face.
Next I slathered some brie (damn Jewel for only having double creme, I KNEW I should have gone to Whole Foods) on peppered crackers and topped them with craisins and really you just cannot go wrong with brie and crackers and fruit.
And now I am sitting here, waiting for my amazing banana bread to finish baking so that I might slather some brie on a piping hot piece and complete my amazing! Monday! night!
Oh, and Murphy taught himself how to bounce a tennis ball against a wall and then catch it - which drives me insane but is too cute for words.

So all in all, my crappy mopey night is turning into a fabulous celebratory evening. Thanks friends - I appreciate it.

This needs to be addressed.

http://hrw.org/reports/2007/nicaragua1007/

I can agree to disagree with people over my extremely liberal pro-choice values. But this is ludicrous. Women - mothers, sisters, daughters, wives - are losing their lives because of an influential fundamentalist faction (sound familiar???) in Nicaragua.
Let's get something straight: ectopic pregnancies DO NOT survive to viability. Ever. And, left untreated, they kill women. Not "slutty" women, or women who were too "weak" to practice abstinence (please read my extreme sarcasm into these categories) - but "worthy" women. And STILL there is no outrage about these deaths??? About politics blocking proper medical care??? About families being left without their mothers because we have to pretend that maybe that ectopic pregnancy will result in a life, and that it is worth letting a woman DIE to prove otherwise?
This is an outrage - a violation of the human rights and dignity of women. But hey, all the politicians who got it passed get to pat themselves on the back knowing they "saved a life" while ignoring the ones lost or ruined as a result. Nice job fellas, next stop, America.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Dreams Be Dreams . . .

So, M. requested a post about Murphy, but he really hasn't done much of interest recently. I mean, he is an incredibly awesome dog. But it is tough to write a great blog post (do not argue that none of my posts are great so that this is actually on par with the rest - I can be interesting! and funny! and informative!) about how he took a nap on my tummy yesterday and kept me warm. Or how he plays fetch with himself in my apartment, and always looks surprised when he throws the ball and must go chase it. Or how he commandeers the back of the couch and drapes his head over my shoulder and his tail over the other shoulder (a move I call "the Murphy scarf"). Oh, and he grumbles. Quite a bit. The most spoiled dog on the planet finds things I do irritating, and grumbles his disapproval. So there you go, M. That is what Murphy has been up to.

On another note, I went to Beer-lympics this weekend. It sort of devolved into an unorganized mess, and people from a neighbors' party came over and ruined our teams. But they were nice, and they commiserated with me about the complete shit-football that occurred Saturday (CU and ASU both got crushed - though to be fair, they were both playing great teams). So there's that . . .

Oh, and the title of the post is referring to my dream about my favorite incredibly-hot-and-talented-with-adorable-shaggy-hair singer, Ryan Adams. I hung out with Ryan and Owen Wilson in my dream - though to be fair, I prefer Luke Wilson (mmm, scruffy men). Ryan totally dug me, obvs. And Owen was flirting with me but he really wanted me to hang out with his buddy Ryan. So yeah, my dreams are totally based in reality. I think the deep dream analysis here is, "AH wants to make out with Ryan." Yep, that's about it.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Calm after the storm.

Wow, my very own blog drama. Who would have thought? Not me. I am going to leave up the comments and my thoughts on them because I think it is important to highlight how horrible the statements were. Rape is never funny. It is never acceptable to joke about "putting someone in her place" with it. It has no place on my little site of internet happiness. But Jeff apologized and I accept that and I will move on. I don't have anything more insightful to say about it.

So, I shall entertain you with the pondering that has racked my brain all day:
If Viagra had been invented at the beginning of the 20th century, would high schoolers still have to suffer through Ernest Hemingway, or would he have had so much sex he never would have written his angst-y novels?

Yeah, that's how my brain works.

Jeff is a RAPIST.

To point your attention to my least favorite person ever, I point you to my post about CNN. If you read it as a reasonable human, you saw that I was mocking CNN for the ridiculous headline calling a person "cancer boy". Because that is awful. Because no person is so singularly defined. Because it is ridiculous and irresponsible journalism. And a respondent thinks I should be raped for saying anything. He thinks I should respect others, because I am a "spoiled rich girl" - but that it is okay to PHYSICALLY ASSAULT ME. I cannot make you understand how offensive this is. I can't. It makes me physically ill that anyone would say that. That is all I can say.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Halloween - Best.Holiday.EVER.

If you really want to know how my Halloween went, Eddie summed it up quite nicely here.

And I have an odd conglomeration of songs in my head right now that mostly consists of Ryan Adams. It goes something like this:


Oh I miss you oh When you laid me down Into your beautiful garden Flowers and the love in my arms Is God playing evil tricks on me
May you one day carry me home Up here in the city feels like things are closing in The sunsets just my light bulb burning out I miss Kentucky and I miss my family

Will you comfort me in my time of need Can you take away the pain of hurtful deeds Cause I will comfort you when my days are through And I'll let your smile just off and carry me

OK, so it is entirely comprised of Ryan Adams. Shush. Happy Halloween.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Well Played, CNN, Masters of the News Universe.

So here I am wasting time in my sweats, with Kashi, at my kitchen counter this morning when I stumble on to cnn.com. CNN is my last resort. I grudgingly click over to it after I have exhausted all other legitimate internet entertainment. Because CNN is not real news. No, really. Anderson Cooper might be a silver fox (which reminds me that I had a really weird dream about my gay neighbors in DC last night that involved me breaking into their house and then eating pasta with them . . . but I digress), but CNN is still crap. Sort of like Jeff, the God of Biscuits (man, I am really all over the place today).

So imagine my glee (and Eddie's as well, sick bastard) at the top headline of the day over at blessed CNN.com:

"Pitbull Kills Cancer Boy's Miniature Horse"

And the ensuing chat:
A-Hottie: "Pit Bull Kills Cancer Boy's Miniature Horse" * what a headline * so well written* Cancer Boy???
Eddie: Is that real???
A-Hottie: yep * cnn.com * where else?
Eddie: i'm crying laughing at that * I just told everyone at the coffee shop
(ok, what are we, an episode from Friends?? Continue . . .)
A-Hottie: heehee * I just like that he is Cancer Boy * like the worst superhero EVER
Eddie: HAHAHA * Cancer Boy * OMG * STOP
A-Hottie: What is his special power? Shoots chemo through his fingertips?
Eddie: Yes. While riding his miniature horse.
A-Hottie: Hahaha, oh man. Straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

ADDENDUM. ENSUING HILARITY OVER GCHAT:
A-Hottie: I am laughing so hard * I am picturing this little bald superhero on a mini horse and absolutely crying
Eddie: hhahahahaha OMG it hurts
A-Hottie: i know. with his hospital gown as a cape. oh dear.
Eddie: I think his miniature horse should have the pit-bull gouge still there. like a zombie horse.
A-Hottie: his head lolling a bit to one side.
Eddie: and it should be too small for Cancer Boy too, so his legs scrape along the floor while he's riding him. Cancer Boy has outgrown Minaiature Zombie Horse, but how can he leave him, they've been through so much
A-Hottie: this should really be Tim Burton's next project. and of course the kid needs parents who are complete dolts.
Eddie: and are clueless to the secret identity of Cancer Boy. because he wears glasses. great fucking disguise. maybe he can cure cancer
A-Hottie: ooh like a real hero!
Eddie: but he can't cure his own
A-Hottie: but his pony is magic! and so long as he rides it, he is ok!
Eddie: and by the end of the movie/trilogy, his mini-horse cures him.
A-Hottie: And he becomes a real horse again!
Eddie: ooh ooh! can it have sneakers, too???
A-Hottie: YES

Monday, October 22, 2007

Larry.

Rather than working on my mountain of homework, I thought it was important for me to post this:



















Murphy as Larry the Lobster. What a dog - erm, crustacean.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I am Emily X.

You may have noticed this blog as a featured link. Workers from Planned Parenthood describe what their days are like, the difficulties they face, and how proud they are to provide quality healthcare to women in need. Well, I am only a volunteer, but I thought I would take this opportunity to describe my time at Planned Parenthood.

Usually, I volunteer at a quiet clinic never visited by protesters. I file charts, call patients, make goodie bags, make posters for the waiting room, and basically do whatever I can to make the staff's day a bit easier. Recently, however, I have been filling in at a bigger clinic that receives more protesters. During the battle to get our clinic opened in Aurora, a group announced they would be holding a 40 day prayer vigil at PP's across the country, so we stepped up our escort duties at this clinic.

I was expecting angry, hostile people spewing forth hatred, lies about Planned Parenthood and what we stand for, and ridiculous arguments about women's health. But I think the reality of my experience thus far makes me more upset. The protesters just stand there, praying. Now, I believe in the power of positive thoughts, meditation, and prayer. But I also believe in taking action to further what you stand behind. I am not suggesting that I miss the days of frequent clinic bombings, harassment and injury to staff members, etc. What I mean by "taking action" is simply this: if you want to really help women facing tough choices, why not get involved with the women? Go work at a day care for poor teens who need the service to finish school and be strong working mothers. Volunteer at an after-school program for at-risk youths to build their self-esteem and help them realize all of their potential to dissuade them from unsafe sexual activity. Hell, take in one of the hundreds of thousands of foster children in this country who need a safe and stable place to call home. But to simply stand in front of a building, doing nothing, is to me inexcusable. Who are you helping? I have never seen a person entering the clinic (for whatever reason - to purchase condoms, birth control, get tested for STIs, or for abortion services) bat an eyelash at you - not to mention turn around because of you.

Again, who are you helping??? We noticed today that more of you showed up because your priest was there. So is that it? You want to impress your priest and showcase your piety to your fellow churchgoers? I think any of my above suggestions for action would do a better job of that. I am not some heathen volunteer - I went to Sunday school, I went to Catholic school. I know the mission. You are instructed not to judge - lest you be judged by a higher power. So by condemning the people who come to the clinic for healthcare, for calling them evil, you are disregarding a crucial piece of your faith. You are instructed to love your neighbors as yourself - if a neighbor was going through a difficult decision, would you shame her? Condemn her? Is that how you would want to be treated, to be loved by your neighbor? And back to my first point, you are to serve those in your community who need help - to take real action for those who cannot help themselves. I do not see you taking any action. I see judging, condemnation, an attitude of dismissal and disdain towards your fellow man - the people who are not as pious as you. Well, I see through it. I do not respect your mission - not because I do not respect your religion, but because you are not working for a religion, but to advance your own self-righteousness. To do so in the face of people who need help the most, that to me is truly cruel.

And to the dozens of passers-by who have repeatedly expressed their support, their gratitude, and their well wishes to those of us who do act for what we believe in, those of us who stand up for our neighbors in need, who refuse to pass judgment on people just like ourselves, I thank you. Your kind words humble me and remind me why I will continue to support women and their health. Because it is important, because most people want choice and freedom and healthcare to be respected, because it is the right thing to do. And for my friends who support me in this endeavor, I thank you. It means the world to me, and so do you.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Read this. Then read it again.

Those of you who know me personally already know that my passion in this life is working for reproductive justice (especially for women - who, let's face it, bear the burden of most reproductive issues). And the link I am posting sums up why I care so damned much. So please read it and forward it on.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jill-filipovic/killing-in-the-name-of_b_68521.html

Monday, October 15, 2007

Mondays Am Dumb.

Walking while listening to your iPod is kind of like having your own theme music.

And for all of you Eddie Izzard fans out there - think of his "Hitler never played Risk as a kid" joke while you picture Murphy ecstatically bounding up to a pair of Mastiffs; only to retreat as if to say, "ooh, they're a bit big, they're a bit big." Heehee.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Oh and . . .

don't talk to me about CU losing. See the next post and determine that I need a break.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Adults. How to be one.

Apparently, ahem, this topic needs going over. So here is my take:

Appropriate phrases to use to stop "seeing" someone before the "dating" begins:
* I like hanging out with you, but I think we are better off as friends.
* We have so many mutual friends, I think dating might be weird.
* You spend too much time with your dog and it weirds me out.
* We haven't quite gotten there yet, but it is patently obvious that I am not going to be all that great in bed, so rather than embarass myself, we should quit while you are ahead.
* You are way too hot for me - I would be insecure dating you.
* Um, sorry to tell you this, but the person you were seeing died/moved to Yemen (said by mutual friend, obvs)

Inappropriate methods of ending the "seeing" before the "dating":
* Simply not speaking to the person even though you have the same group of friends and will clearly be seeing each other in the future. Seriously folks - this is what you do in 6th grade (Oh man, Lucy totally burned Jimmy! She didn't sit by him on the bus today - SNAP!) not as an adult who has graduated from college and holds down a job.
* Being mean to the other person's dog (really, this is never an acceptable way of solving anything)

If you are unsure of the appropriateness of your method, select a new method from the first section. They are all reasonably friendly and do not involve meanness to cute puppies.

P.S. To my dear friends, absolutely none of whom are single (and yes, Daisy, having a boy who you regularly make out with and also hang out with means you are not single), enough with telling me how fun being single is. Because none of you are. If it was so amazing, you would do it, too. Also, no more setting me up with immature, emotionally unavailable men. Because really, haven't I dealt with enough of those???

Friday, October 12, 2007

Math.

Fat Tire Seasonal "2 below ale": $8.49
Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale: $7.29
Barefoot Bubbly: $6.69
Polka Dot Riesling: $7.99
Having a dog at home so that you aren't really drinking alone: $10 (he had a $10 bath today)

Grand total for a fabulous night of drinking, dancing, and online scrabble with a freshly scrubbed pup: $43.60 and worth every penny.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Results (casualties?) of last night.

Bottles of red wine consumed: 1
Kitchens/living rooms spotlessly cleaned: 1
Unreadable blog postings: 1
Smooshed iPods: 1
Bedrooms spotlessly cleaned: 0 (kitchens are more fun to drunk dance/clean in )
Dance parties held with Murphy: 1
Eddie Izzard films watched: 1
Pita chips eaten: 1 bag
Chocolate chips eaten: .25 bags (I haven't been to the grocery in a while)
Text messages sent: at least 11 but sometimes I delete them to hide them from myself so quite possibly 25.

In summary, one night having a drunk dance/cleaning party with the Murph: phenomenal

Eddie's fault

Um, and yes it is rather late. Shut up. I just have to say that my recent obsession with Ryan Adams is partially attributable to Eddie. It is this happy-sad love affair with a scruffy man who makes me want to smile and cry alternatively. Love it, hate it, it is all there. And hence I love Eddie.

Oh and p.s. Ryan? If you see this? Besos from me and Murph - we love you in a scruffy, non-materialistic, guys that play instruments are freaking hot - kind of way.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Halloween I

Halloween is my favorite holiday - so odds are I am going to write about it multiple times and post pictures of my awesome homemade costumes (that's right, costumeS - I told you it is my favorite holiday). But before all of that, Murphy has a question.

Should he be a lobster, a dinosaur, or a chili pepper?

Monday, October 8, 2007

CU won again this weekend - I was too busy (read "drunk") to notice.

But that doesn't actually make me a bad CU fan - in fact, it makes me pretty much the quintessential Buff.

We are so going to a bowl this year!!!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

oh.dear.

And that encapsulates my experience at law school homecoming. Thank god for water and thai food.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Homecoming

Yeah, you may be thinking, "um that already happened, remember? CU won and you were/are really excited? maybe too many beers at the game?" To which I would reply, "But this is law school homecoming and I was roped into attending this year against my better judgment because it is 3rd year and I never attend any law school functions and my friends bitched and wheedled enough that I decided to go."

So yeah. Here I go. Open bar? Check. Cute dress? Check. New make-up? Check.

What could possibly go wrong??? Um, hopefully nothing.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

More thoughts on fall . . .

Apparently it is time to have this little chat with all of my fellow CTA riders once again. It is fall. People are spending more time inside with each other, the weather is changing, and the Bears are losing (which actually has nothing to do with the point I am getting to, but it is an observation), and people are getting colds (see? nothing to do with the Bears). So, it is time to remind you all that it is impolite, nay, asshattish to sneeze, cough, or clear your throat onto a stranger. Or someone you know. Basically, cover your damn mouth/nose and keep your little snot droplets off of me. Oh, and wash your hands. Seriously. You don't have to get the little hand sanitizer bottles and be all freaky, but you do need to combine soap and water and rub your hands while singing "Happy Birthday" a few times a day - okay? (The "Happy Birthday" thing is Daisy's suggestion - something about little kids not washing their hands for a long enough period of time. And since there is a study out about how American men have apparently stopped washing their hands after using the pisser, I suppose the little song trick is applicable to adults, too).

And on a sidenote, what the crap am I allergic to??? Is October really allergy season?

Monday, October 1, 2007

Congratulations!

Congrats to all of the hard working PPCA staff (and thanks to everyone who rallied to support PP) - the Aurora clinic will be open for business tomorrow!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

27-24

As much as I love my Buffs, even I didn't think we were going to pull that off. I just kept saying "Holy crap" over and over. Yeah buddy.

I'm telling you - Murphy's new Buffs gear is really helping us out. And for everyone who made fun of my Buffaloes all week - all we have to do now is beat Nebraska and I will be happy.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

42-0

It's because Murphy wore his new Buffs gear.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Blogger ate it!

I had a brilliant post ready analyzing the finer points of the CU game. Unfortunately, Blogger ate it. So to sum up my irreplaceable, well-written, witty post:

* Defense rocked
* Offense needs work
* the fans were awesome, except they really need to learn to be quiet for the offense and loud for the defense. Seriously.
* I miss Boulder.

So I haven't given up hope on the Buffs. And no matter what, we beat CSU and Nebraska got annihilated by USC and will hopefully be further humiliated throughout the season. So the future is bright. Yep. Go Buffs.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Shoulder to shoulder . . .

. . . we will fight! fight! fight, fight, FIGHT! I am already this pumped for the game on Saturday - I am going to be crazy excited at the tailgate.

Reasons CU is totally going to win this weekend:
* Our mascot kicks ass. No, literally, she is a tough-as-nails bison and sometimes when she gets loose from her handlers, she sort of smooshes the opposing teams. And, she isn't a stereotypical, offensive representation of a traditionally marginalized segment of society. I'm just sayin' . . .
* Our fight song is waaaaay better than a bunch of goons repeating "ohhh oh ohhhh, ohhhh, oh oh" while making chopping motions with their doofy drunk arms. That is the dumbest chant-cheer-fight song EVER.
* Boulder is probably the prettiest college campus around - and any school from FL is simply no competition in the "ambiance" department. This doesn't really relate to football, other than that the pride and serenity we garner from our campus has to pay out somehow, right?
* Altitude. Them big FL boys are gonna be huffin' and puffin' by the second quarter. And the fans? They will forget to hydrate and be puking in the bathrooms or passed out in the stands. Happens every time.
* I will be there. My faith in the grammatically-incorrect juggernaut that is "the Buffaloes" is still unshaken. They will definitely pull through for me this time (unlike last Homecoming when I flew out and we lost in double OT to Baylor - so sad).

So, the moral of this story is that the Buffs will be great and I will have a fantastic time seeing all of my college buddies - and drinking microbrews that do not suck and are really cheap.

Fight, CU, down the field. CU must win. Fight, fight for victory. CU knows no defeat. We'll roll up a mighty score. Never give in! Shoulder to shoulder we will Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Parents are weird.

I mean, not my parents, but parents in general. Clearly my parents were gems, they produced a well-adjusted future lawyer. But this one particular parent today really weirded me out. So Murph and I are on our afternoon walk. I am waiting for him to do his thing, kinda just staring off at trees, when some random dude walking his daughter by in her stroller says, "She caught her first ball at the Sox game today." "Way to go," I say. But I had no idea why on earth aforementioned man decided to tell me this. Was he just that proud? Did he like my outfit (it was really cute)? Did he think he recognized me? Did he think I looked like someone who is really into the milestones of random children (I do not look like, nor am I, such a person, btw)? He threw me for a loop. Even Murphy was weirded out. I hope I never tell strangers on the street about the accomplishments of Murph - if I do, I will become weird parent #756889.

Friday, September 7, 2007

If only logic could always prevail . . .

Go over to Feministing and read all about the repeal of the Global Gag Rule. Then, get really pissed that Bush will of course veto the bill that would provide better health care for women in need around the world. Not that it's all that surprising, Bush doesn't care about the women in this country, so why would he care about those anywhere else?

Thoughts on Lettuce . . .

I know there are some amazing inventors out there - there are wizards of innovation dreaming up touch screen iPods and Slingboxes and cars that detect heartbeats and, well, lots of other things. So can someone please come up with a way for me to buy lettuce and not have it turn into slimy green goop before I can even make 3 decent salads? For real. While you're at it, can you also make raspberries last longer? Much love.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Thoughts on Fall . . .

I am a summer person. I like hot weather and sunshine and lazy days and BBQs and time spent with Murphy and long dinners on patios. So when that little hint of brisk air starts to become the norm in the morning, I get a bit sad. When Labor Day weekend ends, I start to dread having to wear closed-toe shoes rather than my comfy flip-flops. Basically, fall is my Sunday. And yes, that totally makes sense. Sunday is an enjoyable lazy day, but at the back of your mind, you know it also means Monday is awfully darned close. And Monday is rarely any fun. Nor is Tuesday (except for when you get to play in your kickball league on Tuesdays, but that is beside the point). So when the leaves start to turn and all I can think about is college football, while I enjoy myself, I know winter, and then more winter (it is, after all, Chicago) is just around the bend. Bummer - though there is always ski season . . .

P.S. I didn't think it necessary to write a comment policy, but it appears some nasty lurker will make it pertinent. If you insult me or others I mention (especially in a misogynistic or homophobic or racist manner), then your comment will not be posted, period. I am all for healthy discussion, but I will not be a conduit for asshattery. Got it? Great.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Quick note . . .

As someone who grew up Episcopalian, this makes me sorta proud of my former church:

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- The Episcopal Diocese of Chicago included an openly lesbian priest among five nominees for bishop Tuesday, as fellow Anglicans demand that the church bar gay bishops.
The Rev. Tracey Lind, dean of Trinity Cathedral in Cleveland, who has a female partner, will be on the November 10 ballot.
If she wins, she would be the second bishop living with a same-sex partner in the Episcopal Church. New Hampshire Bishop V. Gene Robinson, who has a male partner, was consecrated in 2003, pushing the world Anglican Communion to the brink of schism


Not the schism part, the acceptance of gays and lesbians part. Nice work.

Whelmed

"I know you can be overwhelmed, and underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"

Yes. I am feeling rather whelmed at the moment. Thus ends the mystery of the whelmed.

Monday, August 27, 2007

No Good, Very Bad Day

Today was sucky. It started sucky, as I accidentally tossed poor Murphy's favorite frisbee over a fence into a train yard. He was none too pleased. Then I went to my first class, and missed it because of some crap time change that everyone else knew about. Then I spent $700 on books. To my future professor who thought we needed 7 books for one semester . . . REALLY??? You do realize I have other classes and no money, right? Clearly you are going to be one of those profs who has no idea I am actually enrolled full time and might have to potentially read for other classes. Harumph.

The nap, cookies, and riesling are all working to turn it around. On a sidenote, as I watched the Falcons pre-season game, I wondered whether any of Vick's teammates were going to get caught in this dog fighting scandal. I mean, some of the players probably hang out in the off season, right? Doing fun things like abusing defenseless animals and betting on their demise? So, is anyone else going to be caught up in this?

Sunday, August 26, 2007

So Here It Is

I haven't posted thus far, not that anyone has missed me, because I really didn't know what a first blog post should entail. Should I write about my life goals, the things in the world that infuriate me, the things that make me happy, the things that keep me up at night, etc???

It was all a bit too much. Then I realized that no one cared besides me, and I tend to over think even the simplest things, so I should just suck it up and be the total dork that I am. Really, so long as Murphy likes it, that's all that matters. And Murphy will for sure like my rambling about the two of us pal-ing around on the couch. Well, he's actually a bit grumpy because he wants his dinner . . . But I am so sucked in to "LA Ink" that his dinner will just have to wait. So here it is, my non-insightful, non-earth shattering first ever blog post. What a relief.