Your Wednesday Song of the Day*

Song 1: “She Thinks His Name Was John” - Reba McEntire

Ok, so if you haven’t heard this song, go listen to it immediately. It is hilarious and awful and you will love it. The premise is that this woman knows what happened to all of the men in her past (we are left to assume that she has had sex with these men, though Reba actually never says “sex” or “getting busy” or anything - she’s freaking Reba, it isn’t happening). This makes her a responsible, albeit still slutty, person. But then, there was this one, she had some wine, she had some sex, she left at dawn, and she thinks his name was John. Oh man, what a set up, right? So then what happens Reba? Oh, she is dying??? Of AIDS (well, we aren’t really sure. I mean, it could be syphilis, or perhaps cancer caused by HPV because her parents didn’t get her the Gardasil vaccine because they thought she would have lots of unprotected sex with that “safety net” - I guess the joke is on YOU mom and dad, she turned out to be a total whore anyway!!!)??? Oh how tragic! And all of this could have been prevented if she just knew his last name! (Disregard the fact that she knew where he lived and probably could have traced him that way - that is SO unromantic) So the life lesson learned here is that you will totally be safe from horrid diseases if you just take the time to learn the last name of the people you are randomly sleeping with. Actually, I kinda like the end result. Reba isn’t saying, “See, if only she married the dude she never would have gotten an STI (which, by the way, is bullshit)” - she is saying, “C’mon people, at least sneak a peek at the driver’s license in his wallet before you do the walk of shame!” So refreshing in the damning world of country music.

Song 2: “Stand Still, Look Pretty” - Wreckers - This is just here because I like it.
I want to paint my face and pretend that I am someone else
Sometimes I get so fed up I don't even wanna look at myself
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
And you might think its easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty
Sometimes I find myself shaking in the middle of the night
And then it hits me and I can't even believe this is my life
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I wish that everyone would go an shut their mouth
I'm not strong enough to deal with it

* Disclaimer: This may or may not repeat on other Wednesdays - today, it is actually “songs”. And since we have had some critical reading issues (ahem), let’s make it clear that I am not mocking people with debilitating or deadly diseases - I am talking about a freaking song. Finally, none of these songs are brought up to really make a difference in anyone’s life, I just like them, okay? So keep snotty commentary to yourself - it won’t get posted anyway.