Turns out that when I am in a foul mood, I run really well. So I went to the gym to alleviate some stress, and observed the following:
*Remember SHGG? The one I refused to hit on because hitting on people at the gym is wrong (seriously, no hitting on gym-mates) but admired from afar? Well, he grew a shneck and is no longer remotely attractive. Plus, he was wearing a Michigan hat, and I'm more of a Big 12/Pac-10 kinda gal. Thus ends the saga of SHGG. Oh, and some advice Mr. No-Longer-SHGG: shnecks are really ooky, and some calf raises wouldn't kill you.
*Who the crap eats candy while walking on the treadmill? Someone apparently, seeing as how my cupholders were full of candy wrappers. Seriously folks, just 'cause you are burning calories at the gym doesn't mean that shoving candy into your face is a good idea.
*A fighting leprechaun tattoo on your calf is really dumb. I don't care if you went to Notre Dame. Bad choice. The.end.
*Racerback tank tops on men? Acceptable. Other forms of tank tops, especially ones with low cut sides, exposing your man boobs and really dumb tribal tattoo? Unacceptable. And on that note, man-shorts should be shorter than mid-calf and longer than mid-thigh. That gives you boys lots of options. Choose wisely.
*If you plan on taking an abs class, please refrain from eating something that will make you gassy beforehand. Whoever you were, Stinky, you made me want to barf. For reals. As if 30 minutes of crunches wasn't awful enough, thanks.
*And finally, if you turn realllllly red when you run, maybe bleached-blonde hair isn't the way to go. Yeah, I'm talking about me. I looked like a Malibu Oompa Loompa on the treadmill. Sigh.
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6 comments:
Wow, your gym is full of real winners in life! I guess that must help when you're in a foul mood - at least you're not a candy-eating, leprechaun-tattoo-etched, tank-top-wearing, flatulent individual with a shneck and a Michigan hat. Life is truly good.
Does Billy Idol work out at your gym???
If by "Billy Idol" you mean me, then yes.
And I am pretty stoked that all of the women at my gym are super serious about working out and wear respectable workout clothes. That way we get to laugh at the menz and share knowing looks whilst totally kicking ass at our chosen exercises. Muhahahaha.
If that dude was wearing a Michigan hat, and had a leprechaun tattoo, he either suffers from multiple personalities and did go to ND, or didn't go to ND and is a freak for liking leprechauns that much.
No - FormerSHGG wasn't the one with the leprechaun tattoo, that was some other winner. Seriously, my gym is full of doofuses.
I'm with you on the bright red thing. I don't understand how people manage to leave the gym looking reasonably put together. I refuse to use a communal shower when mine is 2 blocks away, so I stagger home looking like a lobster.
Schnecks are the best.
Except not.
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